Growing up my mum wasn’t a very tactile person, I knew she loved me but she wasn’t one for hugs and kisses. When I was craving that kind of attention I would ask her to play with my hair, I would sit on the floor in front of her and she would braid my hair. It took me a long time to realise that that was what was happening, that sitting at her feet while she played with my hair was our version of “I love you” but what I did know was that I didn’t like just anyone touching my hair.
As a teenager I had lovely long hair, my friends would often ask to play with it but I would refuse. It wasn’t that I didn’t want them to but it would give me tingles, not exciting nice tingles but that sense of someone walking over your grave. I would visibly shudder if someone touched my hair.
As I got older and started having relationships I found that some people could touch my hair and instead of making me want to pull away it felt nice, special, intimate.
To lay my head against someone special and have them stroke my hair is now something I look forward to, crave even.
I want to make sure I read more this year and who knows, I might get some tips on how to be good!
I took this photo a few weeks ago and wasn’t sure whether to use it or not but I kept coming back to it. Not the most flattering of pictures but for me there is something interesting there.
I’ve made it to forty and never been on an actual date. I know that might sound crazy but I was with my husband from when I was nineteen and can’t say dating was really a thing in my teens. So now I find myself in the unusual position of trying to work out how this whole dating world works.
On Boxing day, on a whim, I signed up to POF (Plenty of Fish), there will definitely be more about that in future blog posts because it has been an experience to say the least?
Anyway, it turns out I’ve only gone and got myself a date! Which leaves me wondering how these things work nowadays? Is there an etiquette? Anything I should know beforehand?
So if you have any pointers let me know before Saturday!
I have always found the whole “new year, new me” cliche so unrealistic. The calendar starting again is no real reason to make a change, we should be making changes when they’re needed at any time of the year, not waiting for a specific date.
However today I find myself in the strange position of feeling a little new. We are just over 12 hours into the new year and I have already had 4 unexpected but wonderful orgasms and after three years of liking her posts I have messaged my secret girl crush .
While both of which may seem small or insignificant to some they have left me feeling invigorated and ready for new adventures in the coming year and interested to see the person I am in twelve months time. Here’s to more firsts and tons wonderful orgasms!
As we wave goodbye to this year I can confidently say 2019 can kiss my ass! Here’s to a fabulous 2020.
I am currently sat in my husbands new house (should it be ex-husband? Neither term quite feels right) my sons are playing on the PlayStation, my daughter is building her lego, he is cooking Christmas dinner and I am sat writing this.
We all woke up together at my house this morning, opened presents etc as we have always done but he had asked if we would like to have Christmas Dinner at his house and I know this was his way of wanting to help as I have sorted all the presents etc. I was reluctant to his offer at first as I didn’t want to shift from our traditions, I wanted Christmas in our family home like always but then I remembered that isn’t our life anymore. Our family home isn’t his home anymore and so some of the old traditions don’t really work or matter anymore.
Life has changed so much in 2019, it was unrealistic to think that Christmas was going to stay the same and although it all feels a little strange I am not sad about it. I am leaving this year with a new appreciation for accepting and embracing change, learning to do so has been a wonderfully freeing experience.