This originally started out as a post for @Rebelsnotes meme #wickedwednesday. The prompt was to write two versions of the same story, one the fantasy story we are used to reading and the other a more realistic account. I started with realistic story as I thought it would be a lot of fun which it was but then I got stuck. I just couldn’t write the fantasy version, it just wouldn’t come. I decided to post this half anyway as it was such fun to write and has made me want to put more humour and realism into what I write in future.
If you’d like to see who did manage to write both sides you can see all the Wicked Wednesday posts here.
You’re not going to believe the night I had last night, what a complete disaster! I went out for drinks with Sadie from work, you know the really hot one with the perfect breasts? I should have known better really, going out as a stunner’s sidekick is never going to end well. We went to this bar just down the road from work, men in suits everywhere, you’d have been in heaven! We manage to get a couple of seats across the table from these two good-looking guys at which point I was thinking being Sadie’s sidekick might not be so bad after all but then, we realised they were actually a couple and their serious conversation was in fact a squabble about their upcoming nuptials. Thankfully before either of them got too drunk or angry they left, not before Sadie and I had spent a fair amount of time earwigging though. Inviting ex’s to your wedding, always a tricky subject! I headed to the bar for another round of cocktails and by the time I wrestled my way to the bar and back again their seats had been taken by what can only be described as another stunner/sidekick duo. Of course Sadie and her male counterpart were already deep in flirtation and so beyond a brief introduction to her new friend I had all but lost her attention and settled myself in for the remainder of the evening making light chit-chat with sidekick number 2 until our beautiful friends decided it was time to rip each other’s clothes off.
That would have been fine, I’ve been there before and we both know I can talk for England but I think I the cocktails must have taken over. I was matching this guy drink for drink, he it seemed was drinking more than he’s used to out of nerves. I was drinking to make him seem more entertaining.
Anyway, at some point the gin kicked in (I know, I know! Gin and I have never been good friends) and released my inner sex pest! It all gets a bit blurry from there, I remember sitting on his lap and grinding myself against his thigh and then bits of the walk to his flat which I believe included a fumble in an alleyway and the next thing I remember clearly was being back at his flat.
We’d fallen through the door, I’d like to say it was in the throes of passion but it was actually him trying to stop me giving him a massive love bite on his neck. I slammed the door behind me and the flicker of fear in his eyes seemed to spur me on. I launched towards him and my mouth was on his as he stumbled backwards through his bedroom door.
In my all-powerful gin mode, I had managed to unbuttoned his jeans and his shirt without any of the usual fumbles and as he tried to wrestle the ruffled up denim from around ankles I had stripped and stood before him in full goddess glory. From there it seemed like an age of fumbling began, his nervous hands trying to locate my sweet spot until I lost my patience and forced his head between my legs. The poor boy nearly suffocated! I’d wrapped my legs onto his shoulders and with my hands on his head it took me a moment to realise the noise coming from him wasn’t actually screams of pleasure but rather a desperate plea for his life!
I still wasn’t done with the poor soul, I let him catch his breath while I rubbed his cock back to life so I could have another go. He grabbed a condom from his bedside draw and with shaking hands rolled it down into place, I pushed him flat onto the bed and positioned myself above him. I must have lowered myself onto him with more force than either of us had anticipated because as I did he let out what can only be described as a whimper. Undeterred, I lifted my hips and dropped down onto him again before settling into what was probably a very erratic rhythm. I rode the life out of the poor boy, I’m not even sure if he ever reached orgasm. The last I remember was digging my nails into his chest as my own orgasm took over and then flopping beside him, at which point I must have passed out.
Thankfully I woke up at about 5am needing a wee and managed to grab my clothes and run without him waking up but somewhere out there, there is a poor guy waking up feeling used and abused and probably a bit bruised as well! I really should come with a warning DO NOT GIVE THIS WOMAN GIN!!