Sundays off work are all about not getting dressed until after 11 am
I’m not really one for new years resolutions as you might have already guessed from my earlier post but this week a friend did come up with something I like the idea of. Her only specification is that she has a new experience every month but when we started on a list of ideas to fill the year and it turned out quite a few of the things on her list I’d also like to do so I’m now working on a list of my own. I’m trying to be realistic with my ideas so I don’t get disappointed and discouraged from continuing with other items on my list but here’s what I’ve got so far.
Write more. Even if no one else ever thinks I’m any good at it, I still love it. There are characters I love to write about, characters I want to follow on a journey I’m not always sure will end the way I had initially intended. It’s a lovely little bit of escapism.
See new parts of the UK. Yes we all love our holidays but so often we are desperate to fly away to sunnier climbs when we have such beauty right here at home. So often over recent years, our holidays have taken me south to beautiful Cornwall but this year I’m going north, expect lots of pictures.
Go to Eroticon. Year after year I have watch the build up and excitement to Eroticon and wished I was going always with the excuse of having to work or not being able to afford it but in all honesty my biggest reason for not booking the time off and saving the money is fear. I’ve always felt a little on the edge of a lot of what goes on on twitter, I join in when I can but feel intimidated by the wonder of many of you. My measly little posts no match for some of the wonderful things I see and read so regularly but on the basis of you’re all just human beings like me with your own fears and insecurities and I am being silly, I will be booking my ticket to Eroticon this year.
Try a new cuisine. A fairly straightforward and easy one. I used to be quite a boring eater, always sticking to what I know but in recent years that has changed and I’m keen to try at least one new cuisine this year.
Go to a burlesque show. Again very straightforward and one my friend also has on her list so I’m sure we’ll manage this one together, maybe with dinner before so I can tick off two on my list.
Get a new tattoo. The design is never a problem, the funding it is but one way or another this will happen this year.
Be more creative. I didn’t get out with the camera enough in 2015 and I really missed it. I’d like to concentrate a little more on wildlife photography if I can but just getting out with the camera will be a good start. I’ve been trying my hand at book folding and my first heart didn’t turn out too bad.
Go to a vintage fair. This one is already in the pipeline, I’ve booked the day off work and am hoping I can find someone to go with just to make it a bit more fun.
That’s about as far as I’ve got so far, I know I’ll probably think of more in the coming days and weeks but the main thing I want is just to live more, not put things off or find excuses and that is something I can completely believe I’ll do.
I desperately want to find more time to write at the moment, to write more about Hope and her friends to be precise. I know I’m biased but I really do love them. Hopefully this little jump back to her first kiss with Seth will spur me on plus it allows me to join in with #kotw
“Morning” Seth’s cheery face was at my office door again. “The new units have just arrived, do you want to come and guide us as to where you want them?”
“Yeah, sure.” I checked my watch as I pulled my chair back from behind my desk.
“Oh” Seth looked me up and down.
I was back to normal office wear after three days in scruffs.
“Sorry, do you have a meeting to go to?” I couldn’t be certain but there seemed to be a tinge of disappointment in his voice.
“No,no. It’s just I’m finishing at twelve today! I gestured towards my little suitcase. “I have a train to catch so I didn’t want to start a job and then dump it on you. Plus I don’t fancy getting grubby and sweaty and then being stuck on a train for a couple of hours”
“Fair enough” Seth nodded, staring at me a little too intently.
I headed out of the office and he followed behind. “So,” he began, somewhat tentatively as we made our way downstairs. “Weekend away?”
I smiled to myself, he was fishing. “Just a weekend back in London. I have a friend’s birthday party to attend.”
“Are you originally from London then?”
“No not originally but it has kind of been home on and off for about 10 years now. When I’m not at whichever Warrens needs me anyway.”
“Does it not get annoying?” We both stopped at the bottom of the stairs. “The constant moving around?”
“No it suits my lifestyle” The words tumbled out before I could stop them. Why could I not just say I enjoy it or just a simple no, my stupid brain.
“Your lifestyle?” He queried, a flash of intrigue hiding behind his dark eyes.
“Well you know,” I bluffed and blustered “young, no ties etcetera” I pushed through the swing doors as I tried to compose myself. I knew he wasn’t buying it; over the last few days we had been working together constantly and something had just clicked, we got each other. I had been really pleased as it had made work so much more bearable but in that moment I felt vulnerable, exposed. Never mix business with pleasure, it’s the rule everyone knows and there I was blurring the lines. I needed to set it straight, I was his boss not his friend.
“Right, where are these new units?”
“They’re in the loading bay”
“You haven’t even brought them inside? I shot Seth a look, “surely you don’t need my guidance to tell you they need to be in the building?” I could hear how much of bitch I was being and the look on Seth’s face only confirmed it.
His words were slow and staggered as he glared at me “It seemed pointless to move them twice, they are quite heavy you know.” His eyes stayed locked on mine and despite my best efforts he didn’t seem to be wavering as I tried to stare him down.
I felt the hairs on the back of my neck prickle as a smile grew across my face and a confused look spread across his.
“Well as they are so heavy just get them into the nearest free bay and then next week I’ll come back down and help you get them somewhere more convenient. OK?”
A couple of sniggers from behind confirmed my condescension had not been lost on anyone in the warehouse. Seth didn’t respond but continued to glare at me as I turned to walk away. I gave him my best strut as I called over my shoulder “I’ll be upstairs if you need anymore guidance.”
I smiled all the way back to my office. I never meant any malice but being a patronising bitch really was fun sometimes.
Sinking into my chair I slumped at my desk and pulled my phone from my bag
CLIVE: Morning gorgeous, what time does your train get in?
ME: If I catch the train I’m planning on, I get to Paddington for 4.33. Is that too early for you to meet me? Want me to meet you at yours?
My Phone vibrated almost immediately.
CLIVE: As long as you DO make that train I will be at the station for 4.30 keep me posted xx
I was never late but Clive and my other friends had this strange view of me as I wasn’t as traditionally organised as they were. To them my way seemed chaotic and stressful but it worked just fine for me. In fact I was probably the most relaxed out of all of them and never actually late for anything.
I spent the rest of the morning responding to emails, a job I had been avoiding all week. There is only so much fake pleasantry I can tolerate in one sitting and sadly my inbox seemed full of arseholes I had to be nice to.
Halfway through my last nicey nicey response I was interrupted by a very stern looking Seth.
“Was that really necessary? You made me look like an idiot in front of everyone.”
“Mr Connors, that is no way to talk to a senior!” Mrs Hopkins had rushed to my aid on hearing the noise.
“It’s ok Mrs Hopkins” I raised my voice above them both. “Mr Connors is welcome to express his concerns but he will try and keep his voice down from now on” I ushered her towards the door as I spoke.
“Sorry Mrs Hopkins” Seth offered as I was shutting the door behind her before immediately turning his attention back to me and beginning again in hushed shouts ” What the hell was that? I thought we’d been getting along and then you treat me like an absolute moron!”
I knew he was right, I had bristled because of his prying but I shouldn’t have involved that in work, it was my own mistake. I held my hands up.
“You’re right, I shouldn’t have done it; it was unprofessional and I’m sorry.”
My apology seemed to stun me almost as much as it did him. He had come for a fight and now it seemed neither of us really knew what to say. Both a little confused by how we had got to this situation, we stood staring at each other searching for some kind of understanding. I’m not sure what had happened, I never usually backed down so easily, how dare he come storming into my office shouting the odds. I could feel an anger building inside me as I glared at him, I opened my mouth to give him a piece of mind but he silenced me, before I could begin, as his lips crashed against mine and his hands held the back of my head. My anger turned to passion as I grabbed at him pulling him closer, my nails digging into his back as our mouths continued their battle.
I felt myself give and mould in his hands as they pressed and gripped me tighter.
It had been a long time since a man had kissed me quite like this and I was giddy with the intensity of it. That long forgotten flutter at my core began just as the shrill ring of my desk phone parted us; we jumped as if someone had walked in and found us.
Trying to calm myself I walked towards the desk “Hello?” I kept my back to him as I tried to compose myself.
“Ah, Miss Campbell, I’m glad I caught you” Sinclair’s voice boomed down the line. “I just wanted to get your opinion on something. I’ve been thinking we need to move forward with appointing a new warehouse manager.”
“Well I know you’ve been spending a lot of time down there this week so I wondered what your opinion was of Seth?”
I felt the hairs go up on the back of my neck, how was I suppose to answer that now, with him stood just a few feet behind me and with what had just happened. I didn’t have anything bad to say but I didn’t want him to know that.
“Miss Campbell?” Sinclair prompted.
“I think” I stalled trying to compose my thoughts “that would be a wise choice.”
“Yes but what will he bring to the role? What qualities make him the right choice? Will he be a good leader for the team down there?”
Damn it, there was no way out of this. “I have found him extremely hardworking” I turned to face him. “He has a good working relationship with the other warehouse staff”
The penny dropped, he realised I was talking about him.
“And he has some good ideas. I’m sure he would be more than capable of the role.”
“Good, good. I’ll try and have a word with him this afternoon.”
“OK Nigel, glad I could help.”
I watched Seth as he waited for me to finish on the phone. There was a fresh cockiness to his pose whereas I just felt panicked. What had just happened? Why had I let that happen? What would happen next? As much as I wanted to get Sinclair off the phone I knew once I did I’d have to answer those questions.
“Just a reminder I’ll be out of the office soon but I’ll still be picking up my emails, signal allowing” I was waffling.
“I’m sure we will survive without you for a few hours” Sinclair chuckled like a patronising teacher.
“OK well, I’ll see you Monday.” I hung up.
“So you do think I’m good at my job.” Seth sauntered towards me.
I couldn’t deny he was cute even if he was a bit of a cocky bastard and certainly not my usual type.
“Oh I wasn’t talking about you” I joked, “I was talking about the warehouse manager.”
“That’s if I agree to take the job” he smirked.
A small laugh escaped as I shook my head, “cocky.”
“So do you fancy going for a drink when you get back from London?”
“Erm, yeah, sure.” NO! What was I saying? This was a bad idea, a really bad idea.
“I’m not sure what time I’ll be back though,” I tried to backtrack. “It might not be till late.”
“That’s OK,” he leant across me and took a piece of paper from my desk. “Text me when you know what time and we’ll sort something.” He scrawled his number down and handed it to me. “Late’s fine, I’m a bit of a night owl anyway.”
“OK” I managed to stutter.
“I best get back down there and let you get your train. Have a great time” He kissed my check and headed for the door.
My mind in a whirl I managed to mumble a thank you as he walked out.
In a nutshell, no.
I’m not really one for new years resolutions, I can’t say I ever have been. I find the whole idea a little alien, why do we have to wait for January first to roll around for us to decide we want to do something? If I decide I’m a bit podgy in July, I’ll be even bigger if I have to wait until January to put it right and if I want a new experience I’m far too impatient to wait however many months and make it a resolution.
I’m not saying there aren’t things I want to do this year, there absolutely is and they are easily summed up in one word, more.
I know on the surface that probably sounds greedy and don’t get me wrong I had some great times last year, lots of laughter, lots of fun and some new experiences so I’d really like some more of the same. After saying year after year that I’d like to go to Eroticon I’m waiting for that email to say tickets are on sale, I’m determined to get there this year. I’m counting down the days until work calms down a little and I can have a few more days off to get back to my much neglected writing. I’ve started practicing book folding so I can hopefully get a bit more creative at home when I’m not in a position to get out with the camera.
The last few months have been completely swallowed up with work and being poorly but now I’m feeling better and work is settling back down I can concentrate on the things I enjoy.
2016 isn’t going to create a new me but I’m certainly aiming to have a few months that are more me.