Fear – Wicked Wednesday

I was raised by a strong independent woman and it was automatic to follow that path, to not need anyone else. That didn’t mean I was alone but that people were in my life because I wanted them there not because I was reliant upon them. I always knew that if I was on my own I’d survive, I’d be okay and that’s not a bad thing but the trouble is what happens if I don’t want to be strong all the time? What happens if I don’t want all the responsibility in my shoulders?

Nothing. Nothing happens.

You see, when you’ve been like this for so long no one can imagine you being any other way. Even when you try and show you need someone else to take the weight they just think she’ll be okay; she’s strong, she’ll get through it. And because you aren’t used to letting your walls down you don’t really know how and the thought of doing so is terrifying.

I want to be soft, weak, let my vulnerable side free but it’s like introducing everyone to a stranger. What if the people around me don’t like that girl, she’s so different to the one they have always known. What if they reject her? The strong girl can handle that but will the girl behind the rampart be able to cope if no one wants her?

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

5 thoughts on “Fear – Wicked Wednesday

  1. I know what you mean – I am strong too and that means sometimes there is no room to be vulnerable – I would like to – maybe one day I will get there, as surely to be strong means we can be how we want to be?

  2. Thanks for sharing. I can see why it is so difficult. But I wonder if you are casting too wide a net? Can you show your vulnerable side with one or two trusted others?

  3. Unfortunately I too can relate to this. There were times when I could be that vulnerable girl, but the last 2,5 years have al been about being the strong woman… and sometimes I just don’t want to be.

    Rebel xox

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