Gin Goddess

This originally started out as a post for @Rebelsnotes meme #wickedwednesday. The prompt was to write two versions of the same story, one the fantasy story we are used to reading and the other a more realistic account. I started with realistic story as I thought it would be a lot of fun which it was but then I got stuck. I just couldn’t write the fantasy version, it just wouldn’t come. I decided to post this half anyway as it was such fun to write and has made me want to put more humour and realism into what I write in future.

If you’d like to see who did manage to write both sides you can see all the Wicked Wednesday posts here.

Morning chick!
You’re not going to believe the night I had last night, what a complete disaster! I went out for drinks with Sadie from work, you know the really hot one with the perfect breasts? I should have known better really, going out as a stunner’s sidekick is never going to end well. We went to this bar just down the road from work, men in suits everywhere, you’d have been in heaven! We manage to get a couple of seats across the table from these two good-looking guys at which point I was thinking being Sadie’s sidekick might not be so bad after all but then, we realised they were actually a couple and their serious conversation was in fact a squabble about their upcoming nuptials. Thankfully before either of them got too drunk or angry they left, not before Sadie and I had spent a fair amount of time earwigging though. Inviting ex’s to your wedding, always a tricky subject! I headed to the bar for another round of cocktails and by the time I wrestled my way to the bar and back again their seats had been taken by what can only be described as another stunner/sidekick duo. Of course Sadie and her male counterpart were already deep in flirtation and so beyond a brief introduction to her new friend I had all but lost her attention and settled myself in for the remainder of the evening making light chit-chat with sidekick number 2 until our beautiful friends decided it was time to rip each other’s clothes off.
That would have been fine, I’ve been there before and we both know I can talk for England but I think I the cocktails must have taken over. I was matching this guy drink for drink, he it seemed was drinking more than he’s used to out of nerves. I was drinking to make him seem more entertaining.
Anyway, at some point the gin kicked in (I know, I know! Gin and I have never been good friends) and released my inner sex pest! It all gets a bit blurry from there, I remember sitting on his lap and grinding myself against his thigh and then bits of the walk to his flat which I believe included a fumble in an alleyway and the next thing I remember clearly was being back at his flat.
We’d fallen through the door, I’d like to say it was in the throes of passion but it was actually him trying to stop me giving him a massive love bite on his neck. I slammed the door behind me and the flicker of fear in his eyes seemed to spur me on. I launched towards him and my mouth was on his as he stumbled backwards through his bedroom door.
In my all-powerful gin mode, I had managed to unbuttoned his jeans and his shirt without any of the usual fumbles and as he tried to wrestle the ruffled up denim from around ankles I had stripped and stood before him in full goddess glory. From there it seemed like an age of fumbling began, his nervous hands trying to locate my sweet spot until I lost my patience and forced his head between my legs. The poor boy nearly suffocated! I’d wrapped my legs onto his shoulders and with my hands on his head it took me a moment to realise the noise coming from him wasn’t actually screams of pleasure but rather a desperate plea for his life!
I still wasn’t done with the poor soul, I let him catch his breath while I rubbed his cock back to life so I could have another go. He grabbed a condom from his bedside draw and with shaking hands rolled it down into place, I pushed him flat onto the bed and positioned myself above him. I must have lowered myself onto him with more force than either of us had anticipated because as I did he let out what can only be described as a whimper. Undeterred, I lifted my hips and dropped down onto him again before settling into what was probably a very erratic rhythm. I rode the life out of the poor boy, I’m not even sure if he ever reached orgasm. The last I remember was digging my nails into his chest as my own orgasm took over and then flopping beside him, at which point I must have passed out.
Thankfully I woke up at about 5am needing a wee and managed to grab my clothes and run without him waking up but somewhere out there, there is a poor guy waking up feeling used and abused and probably a bit bruised as well! I really should come with a warning DO NOT GIVE THIS WOMAN GIN!!

Lunch Break

We’d been firing text messages back and forth all morning, a slow, sweet build up to when we could finally be alone together. As I watched the office clock tick round I willed it to move faster, I couldn’t even concentrate on my work now our moment together was so close. As the clock struck 1pm I fired off one final email telling him I was on my way, chucked my phone into my bag and headed out of the office. Striding along the corridor I checked behind me before slipping through a side door at the end and into the emergency stairwell.

Looking down over the rail I’m greeted by his smiling face waiting for me two floors below. I make my way down to him and follow behind as we venture through the  badly lit and neglected corridors in the depths of the building.I make one more check behind me as we reach the door to our sanctum before following him inside and closing the door.

The old strip lighting clinks and flickers above us as I launch myself at him. My body smashes against his, forcing him to stumble backwards until he is pinned against the metal racking that fills the old store-room. My mouth crashes against his with a desperate need to devour him, to take him in and make him mine. His hands move towards my chest as he begins to try to fight against the assault on his lips but my lust outweighs his protest and as I force his wrists against the cold metal shelf at his head, the tension in his body fades. He is melting into me, leaving the world outside that door behind and surrendering himself to me.

Breathless from my campaign I release my hold and rest against the unit behind me, his body sags and he slumps to his knees. Staring at the top of his head I wait as he composes himself and lifts his head to me. That look in his eyes gets me every time, who needs words when he can convey such adoration and need in the simple act of meeting my eyes. My need matching his I hitch my skirt up and prop my bottom on the supportive strut of the unit at my back.

He leans in eagerly, desperate to immerse himself in me. His mouth hits me with a ferocity matching my assault on his lips and my legs lift higher in response. His hunger drives him in and as he plunges his tongue into me I have to find something to hold. I desperately grasp at the back of his head pulling him deeper into me as my hips begin to pitch and sway. My orgasm rips through me like lightning, my body convulsing and humming as he continues to lap at me until I am left a panting euphoric mess.

My legs slip away from him and his hands guide me back to my feet. While I get my balance he straightens my skirt for me and looks up at me proudly. I can’t resist kissing his sweet happy face again before helping him up even though I know we are probably now both late back from lunch. We head back out into the corridor, our fingers entwined and we begin up the stairs together. Reaching my floor I steal one final kiss before sending him on his way and slipping back out of the stairwell and back towards the office.

As I settle back at my desk the ping of an email arriving makes me jump, clicking on the flashing envelope I see it is from my boss:

P: Seen as you missed lunch, allow me to buy you dinner? X

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No Squirt Required

I’ll be honest, up until maybe five years ago I didn’t even know the female ejaculation existed and when I did discover it I had no real desire to try and achieve it. I have seen plenty of people on Twitter talk about wanting to be able to ejaculate or make their partner squirt but the truth is, so far research seems to point towards the fact that not many women do ejaculate. 6-10% seems to be the current estimate although that could be incredibly inaccurate, research into the matter isn’t exactly high on scientists lists.
One thing I have learnt about the female ejaculation is that people still have very mixed views on the whole matter. Some believe it doesn’t really exist and others are misguided as to how it is supposed to be achieved. So I’ll let you into a secret, come closer…are you ready? There isn’t just one way! You know how we are all different? We’ll that applies to this just as much as it does everything else.
I asked Twitter for help with this matter, I asked if anyone had written or read anything on the female ejaculation that they passed on the link for me to have a read myself. Amid the lovely Twitter folk I of course got a bragger too “I know how to give it…” I’m sure what he meant to say is that he has been lucky enough to help partner achieve ejaculation and unless it was just a fluke then that’s great. If something that they are able to repeat and enjoy together, it probably means he has learnt his partners body and her responses well. That doesn’t however mean he would be able to “give” me an ejaculation.
Some women seem to find clitoral stimulation is key to their squirting, others will swear it’s all about the G-spot. Personally I find for the best orgasm/ejaculation combo I need both. Also I don’t squirt, to me it seems more of a gush and I cannot achieve this through just stimulating my clit. I can however reach that point without it. The other thing I have found is I can’t do it alone, I have only ever gushed with assistance from my husband. I haven’t found a toy that can take me there but thankfully my husband has magic hands.
I can also say that my orgasms when I ejaculate are among the most intense orgasms I have had and the intensity has increased as I have learnt to let go more and let it happen. Having said all that the pleasure I experience in those moments really Has little to do with whether or not I have expelled a liquid from my vagina. I don’t feel better because of it, I wouldn’t be disappointed if a beautifully intense orgasm wasn’t accompanied by that gush.
So if you aren’t in that estimated 6-10% but are still having fabulous orgasms, don’t sweat it. We’re all still in the same boat, you’re just not having to argue over who gets the wet patch.

I’m Not Talking Dirty

Over the past couple of days I have had two conversations with two different people that have got my back up. Neither person intended to annoy me, they weren’t directly rude to me and I don’t think either had any idea they had done anything wrong. What they did do wrong was make presumptions.

The first guy is someone I know in the real world, we aren’t close but every so often he texts me and we have a brief catch up but inevitably he will always try to steer the conversation towards sex. Now any of you that know me will know I am happy to talk about sex all day long. There are so many different areas of sex, the dynamics of the relationships and it is always good to learn new things. However that isn’t the kind of conversation he wants to have, he wants something to help him get off. Because he knows that I am a very open person and find it easy to talk about sex, he seems to believe that this means I want to talk dirty with him and help him work his way to an orgasm, I don’t. I am not sexually attracted to him, I don’t find anything he says to me a turn on and that fact that he makes these presumptions about me is an even bigger turn off.

The second guy is originally from twitter but who has recently started to contact me through Kik. The conversations tend to be the general. Hi how are you? Hows your day been? etc. But each time I can tell he wants more and today after I told him I was at work it gave him the opportunity he had been looking for. He asked if I had to wear a uniform to work and when I replied no, he wanted to know what I was wearing. I was completely honest as I always try to be and said I was wearing jeans, a grey jumper and a red scarf. But of course that wasn’t enough, he wanted to know what was underneath. Trying to keep the conversation on a humorous level but also trying to make him a bit aware of what he was doing I asked if he wanted to know the truth or if he wanted to know what would fit with his imagination. I thought this might be the reality check he needed but no, his response was he wanted the truth but if he wasn’t keen on that I could then tell him something to fit with his imagination! At that point I felt so angry that I ended the conversation so as not to say anything offensive.

So why does this happen? Where does this presumption come from? How is the connection made between me being happy to talk openly about sex to me wanting to help them get off?! Do they automatically presume that because I am open about sex that I am continuously in a state of arousal that they can tap into and use. I wonder if they ever think about trying to say anything that might make the conversation stimulating for me or are they under some illusion that just the fact they ask these things of me turns me on? It doesn’t.

I don’t want to berate either of these men, like I have said I don’t think they ever intended to insult me. It does however make me question how I talk to people though. How do I continue to have open and honest conversations without people I talk to presuming that I will automatically want to talk dirty to them?